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Okay! We must learn to read the description first,
Subtitled version of Touhou M-1: Witch Doll (Real Estate Agency)
The Dr, House pun isn't really the literal translation, It should be "Iei!" as in "Yay!"
There are two famous way to translate this
1) Keep the original meaning and put a note (doesn't work all the time and sometimes ruins the flow)
2) Localize (Target audience = Those who completely don't understand the language)
I find #2 choice to be the perfect one for this Flash video that's why, And also it happens to pun with shouting "House" (Ie[i]!) as a name because Alice is looking for *a* "house,"
The "lea---! I won't do that!" part,,, actually the literal is "Eat,,,? I can't/won't do that!" I had a hard time finding the right replacement for that pun when I suddenly remembered that 4 koma that spawned the "Alice leaks poop," thingy and used the word lea-- to connect it with leaves (which Marisa mentioned) and maintained the Green Storm context from the original because if I remember correctly there are "leaves" being mentioned in Patchouli's Green Storm Spell card,
The last line "Although I want you to forget one thing" is one of my misheard line again and it should be "Let me say one last thing to you at least,,,"